


you'll always have a place with me

by colorfullysarah



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, I don't really have much else to tag, M/M, Post-Season 4, and our boys being soft and supportive of each other, just dealing with the fall out of that finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-27 11:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12580820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colorfullysarah/pseuds/colorfullysarah
Summary: And there’s that precipice again. He tries to untangle thesomethingcurling between them so he can name the emotions shining in Keith’s eyes. Whatever they are must be mirrored in his own because Keith smiles, real and genuine and so beautiful it makes Lance want to cry all over again.





	you'll always have a place with me

**Author's Note:**

> ***SLAMS FISTS ONTO A TABLE*** I have a lot of feelings about season four but particularly episode six as a whole. I started this fic the moment I finished watching the new season because I just needed to dive into Lance's head, into what might happen after they go back to the ship with Lotor. But especially how the team and Lance process and handle the realization that Keith was inches away from sacrificing himself. 
> 
> Also, you can pry the clone Shiro theory from my cold dead hands because the precious, darling Shiro we all know and love would have never let any of what happened in season four happen okay! 
> 
> Anyway! I hope you enjoy <3

Anger ignites beneath his skin, Shiro’s words like flint to the stony frustration that had been smoldering ever since the man’s return. His gaze drifts up and all he sees is purple wash out the sky and before he can speak, before he can urge Pidge or Allura to help him figure a way out of this and -

all he can feel is a weight on his chest, crushing and he wants to scream, wants so many things but Shiro’s voice urges them to do what he had suggested only moments ago and bitter words tangle on his tongue. Every pain that courses through his body screams at him to say them but he knows better now, knows to keep those words locked away until a moment when they weren’t about to knock on Death’s doorstep and ask to be invited inside.

Pidge’s words replay in his mind and as he manages to get Red to move it’s obvious their attempt won’t work and the bitter words curdle as Voltron is falling and falling and falling until -

“The gravitational pull is worse on Voltron!”

Of course it is, why wouldn’t it be? Agony sears through his veins quick and hot like the lion that nudges the back of his mind urging him to move through the pain because if he stays he’ll greet death sooner than they’d both like.

He slams his eyes shut against the torrent of memories and faces that push themselves to the front of his mind. No, no, no -

“Let’s move!”

Shiro’s voice stings in his mind like saltwater rushing into an open wound and he hisses quietly as he forces the maelstrom of emotions back.

Later.  
Later.  
_Later._

He actives his bayard before he leaves Red and feels the hair on the back of his neck stand the moment he’s left the safety of his lion. There are so many sentries, so many with guns and their laser fire ghosts promises of the end if he even takes one wrong step. Concern for himself quickly is thrown away when he sees the pink and green of Allura and Pidge’s armor and he can’t let any of sentries land a shot on his team, knows he’d never be able to live with himself if he did.

His body twists as they run and he aims and shoots and aims and shoots until they’re careening through open air and maybe just maybe they’ll all make it to the other side without anyone being shot and -

Hunk is falling forward and he opens his mouth to scream, wants to move to save him but he can’t because all he can hear is searing shots of laser colliding with the metal wall behind him and if he stops shooting for just one second that could mean -  

His heart settles back in his chest as Hunk catches himself with his jetpack but the anger is only fanned until it grows into rage. They shouldn’t be here, none of them should be inches away from -

“It’s open let’s go!”

In the back of his mind, he can’t help but want to laugh hysterically at how much he’s changed since they left Earth, how jumping off the edge of the platform and down a large pit that he couldn’t see the end to would have made him shaking and crying in fear.

Now though?

Now he falls without even batting an eye with his gun securely in his hands should they come across any unwelcome visitors at the bottom of this pit. If things were going their way right now he’d tell Hunk how proud of him he was that his best friend didn’t even look the slightest bit nauseous like he used to whenever they stepped foot into a simulation at the Garrison.   

Fuck no, now’s not the time to think of -

The doors open without any resistance and his breath catches in his throat when he takes in the large glowing purple sphere that can’t mean anything good. “What _is_ that?” the words slip from his mouth before he can think of something better to say, something smarter, something that may help them figure out a way to turn it off so they can get the hell off this planet but nope.

His gaze never waivers from the sphere, his hands grip his gun tightly as they move forward. Who knows what the hell will happen if he lets his guard down for even one second and considering his gut has been right the whole time about this place he wouldn’t even lower his arms even if Shiro ordered him to.

( Not again. Never again. )

He watches as Allura steps forward, voice dripping with grief that they tried so hard to keep from consuming her, explaining how the technology was Altean and a flurry of curses form on his lips but before he can voice them Shiro speaks and he wants to shake the man for putting all of this onto Allura’s shoulders, for not asking Pidge or Hunk to do any scans to see if -

“I can try.”

As she reaches for the orb his chest clenches in fear, whatever this used to be the Galra has had ten thousand years to modify it in ways that Allura won’t be able to pick up on until it’s too late. Why Shiro thinks it’s a good idea for Allura to try and stop this orb from doing...whatever the hell it’s doing he can’t understand. This didn’t feel right, none of it did and yet here they were waiting with bated breaths to see if Allura could figure everything out and put an end to it.

Not that he believes she’s incapable of saving their asses (because she’s proven that she certainly can countless times over by now) but nothing was ever easy when the Galra were involved. He just wants to make sure they all actually made it out of this damn war alive.

It happens in a flash and the second he hears Allura scream he’s surging forward until he’s gripping her shoulder tightly hoping and praying he has enough strength to pull her away.

But he’s screaming too, pain searing every inch of his body until he can’t process anything else. It’s endless and hot and cold at the same time and he just wants it all to end. Just as tears gather in the corner of his eyes it stops and the ground rushes up to meet him. His temples are wet but he quickly blinks away the remaining tears as he pushes himself up.

The others are sprawled out around him but he moves towards Allura first. “Are you okay?” voice scratchy and raw and frankly he’s surprised he’s able to speak without choking on the burning heat in his throat.

“It’s too powerful.”

And goddammit, he hates the way she sounds as she speaks. Hates how he can hear the threads of self-doubt because she’s Allura, _Princess_ of Altea, she should never sound like this. His gaze flickers over to Shiro and narrows his eyes before looking at Allura again. Just as he opens his mouth to ask if she was okay, Hunk groans nearby and he whips around.

His best friend struggles to regain his bearings but somehow that brilliant genius mind of his still thinks to analyze the dirt they were unceremoniously tossed onto and his heart swells, clashing against the anger and frustration. But alarm consumes the warmth in his chest quickly when Hunk shouts and sentries manage to finally reach them and open fire.

“Fuck!” he curses under his breath as he clambers to his feet and returns the fire. There aren’t many sentries and for that, he sends up a silent thank you to whoever the hell was willing to listen and he manages to take one down quickly.

He wracks his brain as he continues to aim and shoot and aim and shoot but he can’t remember for the life of him what hexamite is and why it would cause Hunk’s voice to color with panic. He tries to keep his words light though when he asks because anything else would loosen the grip he has on -

“The whole planet is a bomb!”

And there it goes, like a pyramid of cards panic falls between his ribs and straight to his heart pressing until he’s breathless. It blinds him long enough to forget the building wave of rage that churned within him. His grip tightens on his gun and he forces himself to refocus. He can sink into the fear once they manage to get their asses off this planet and never ever see it again.

“How much longer do we have?” Shiro’s voice cuts through his tumbling thoughts and he grits his teeth as he dodges the searing red laser fire racing his way.

Hunk is trying his best to mow down the sentries he couldn’t but it isn’t enough, wouldn’t be enough and they all knew it. “Maybe twenty minutes?”

 _Fuck_.

“We have to get off this planet and warn everyone!” The words tumble past his lips, desperate and wild because while he’s terrified of dying himself the thought that others, that Coran, that Keith could -

He knows the Pidge is talking, that the others are trying to process their newfound realization of mortality but he can’t bring himself to piece the words together, to force them to make sense through the haze of desperation that clings to his bones.

“Everyone within ten solar systems of us is going to get blown to pieces!”

That snaps him back and he feels breathless in the same way he used to whenever Keith would get the upperhand and lay him out on the training room deck with an ease that left him envious and impressed. Oh how he wishes they were all back there. There are so many things he hasn’t been able to say thinking stupidly that he’d always have the time to say them.

( It doesn’t matter if - )

The trip back up to the surface is tense and he pushes his jetpack to its limits, feels the way it shudders against his back when he reaches the edge. Red’s cry wraps around his mind and fuels him to move faster and God Keith will be so mad to hear that they put Red into this position and -

he’s screaming as the pressure slams into his chest when the ground crumbles beneath Allura and Hunk and he wonders if this is how he will die when the bottom of the pit rushes up to meet them. The landing is jarring and leaves his body protesting as he regains his bearings.

Shiro’s words don’t fill him with a surge of hope and pride and determination like they once did, this time they make him want to scream or to slam his fist into one of the walls in Red’s cockpit instead he growls as his fingers curl around the controls so tightly he swears he’ll snap them in half.

“Seventeen minutes!”

They don’t have time for this and they’ve already wasted too of it. His mind whirls as he tries to figure out something, anything that’ll get them off this fucking planet and when it finally clicks into place he prays it’ll work.

“Allura!” he shouts and bites back his concerned words when he sees her grim face lined with defeat. “I know you can get us out of this somehow.”

And yeah he’s gonna have a few choice words to say to Shiro when he watches Allura’s face pinch further with doubt. He continues speaking, hoping that what he says can get her to understand just how _strong_ she is, reminding her that despite her lack of training she saved the Balmera and a _whole_ planet of people.

“There’s a reason the blue lion chose you,” he reminds her as gently as he can given their urgency. She needs to hear that, needs to understand how important -

“This is your destiny, _you_ are the heart of Voltron.”

He claws through his anxiety and fear when he watches Allura’s eyes fall shut and she reaches somewhere inside herself to find that something that will save all of them. And he hopes and prays and wishes with every fiber of his being that Allura can do it in time, that Shiro’s decision didn’t doom them all to an early grave and the blood of the innocent staining their fingertips as they are yanked down into the black abyss.

The feeling on his chest from the planet’s gravity lifts and he barely contains his unfiltered joy when Allura does it, when she proves to not only them but to herself that she is amazing and powerful and a force to be reckoned with.

And as they’re rising, breaking through the force field around the planet he hopes everything he’s done has been enough that they aren’t too late.

His comms are flooded with voices the moment they are free and hurling Voltron through space in a desperate race against the clock and he immediately recognizes Keith’s among them before being drowned or cut off as they draw closer.

He sees a glimpse of the ship, so far off that desperation curdles in his stomach when he realizes how fucking far they still have to go and how little time they have to cross the distance. Red snarls, deep and low in his mind as his lion recognizes as well that -

“We’re not gonna make it!”

The words tumble from his mouth and he wishes he could snatch them back because their hope was already fragile when they were trapped on that planet with no way out and realized the severity of the situation. But he can feel what little hope they had left snap cleanly in half, barely making a sound as the feeling of it crashes against his mind from the others.

No.  
_No_.  
They can’t -  

He used to declare loudly to anyone willing to listen back at the Garrison (back when he was young and naive of the horrors unfurling in the universe) that he wanted to die a hero's death. His mind was filled with romanticized images of superheroes giving their lives for the greater good, for a cause bigger than themselves to save even just one person from meeting death. Glossy pages of comic books and dramatic action sequences playing out across silver screens painted a picture in his mind of what death was supposed to look like, what it was supposed to be and when he decided to become a fighter pilot and travel the stars he always figured the only way he’d ever stop doing either of those things would be dying far too young, saving his crew or something equally noble.

The reality of dying a hero’s death is nothing like he used to imagine it back in the safety of the Garrison’s hallways and simulators.

It’s large and looming and terrifying and he selfishly wants to live. He wants to see another day, another sunrise on an alien planet but especially another sunrise back on Earth, back home. It’s a painful, twisting feeling in his chest when he feels the fear slam against his own from the others.

He wanted to die a hero’s death but now that he’s about to do exactly that he wants nothing more than to live, to breath, to fall into the sea’s embrace back home with his family laughing around him as warm water caressing his skin in a gentle embrace and God, he wants to walk right up to Keith and -

the shield and weapon shatter.

He blinks, shocked and there is total silence as they soak up the sight before them. The others start congratulating Keith and he can’t help but wonder how the hell did -

“It wasn’t me...it was Lotor.”

And with those words, the relief that had begun to bloom within his chest wilts because there’s something about Keith’s voice that isn’t quite right. If he’s being honest with himself, Keith hasn’t sounded like himself since their battle with Zarkon, since they marched into the black lion and found the cockpit empty and he watched Keith’s expression shatter as the boy was confronted with a reality where he lost Shiro _again_ and -

“Attention Paladins of Voltron and rebel fighters! I know we’ve had our differences in the past but I think it’s time we had a discussion.”

A snarl claws its way up his throat because _fuck no_ they don’t need to discuss anything with that manipulative snake. Before he can voice anything Shiro is speaking, “I suppose a discussion is only fair.”

Lance feels his patience pulled so taut he knows he’s on the brink of snapping, balancing on the perilous edge between remaining level-headed and all-encompassing rage. And Shiro is hell-bent-and-determined to shove him right off of it and into madness. Red is no help, his lion is equally frustrated and enraged and the desire to break Voltron and close the distance to Lotor’s ship and tear it to shreds is so strong that he has to grip the controls with shaking hands to keep himself from doing just that.

Distantly, he’s aware of Pidge’s shock and Hunk’s overwhelming concern and Allura’s understanding roll through him when they glimpse a _sliver_ of his emotions as they make their way back to the castleship. Shiro’s emotions are nonexistent, locked away and it only makes his rage howl and bang against its confinement in his mind, begging to be released before madness sinks in and leaves him without reason.

Voltron breaks apart and Red rushes to curl possessively around his mind, around his turbulent emotions as they fly towards the hangar bay. If he was still Blue’s pilot, she would have tried to soothe him and then try to pull him back from the edge until he felt calm enough to get through the rest of the mission until he could collapse into his bed and scream into his pillow.

Red does neither of those things.

And he wants to laugh because _God_ , he understands now why Keith was always breaking away from the plan, from them when he had a lion like this who fed into whatever aggravations swirling around in his mind. He can also see now why Keith and Red were ( _are_ ) a force to be reckoned with, a beautiful blend of instinct, impulse and desire to protect.

They’re the first, of course, to land in the hangar that must’ve been used once upon a time by dozens of ships from all across the universe to meet with the Alteans and Paladins to celebrate or implore for their assistance.

_Paladin…_

“I know,” he growls when he feels Red’s distrust wash through him as they watch Black land just to the left of them. Before today, before this stupid, stupid mission Lance would have defended Shiro til his dying breath, would have trusted his life in the older man’s hands because he was _Shiro_ , a survivor and formidable leader in the face of all the horrors he endured at the hands of the Galra.

But now?

Now he isn’t so sure. Feels a hesitation sink wearily into his bones when he sees the man climb out of Black, helmet tucked into the crook of his arm, walking with his back straight and shoulders back as though he hadn’t made a colossal mistake that nearly cost them everything.

The others land and make their way out of the lions and still, he doesn’t move. He can’t bring himself to move until he watches Keith clamber out of his stolen Galra ship in his Blade of Marmora suit. The moment Red sees Keith his lion sends waves of relief and longing through him and for once he doesn’t find an ounce of jealousy in his body because the same feelings spark to life despite the thick cloud of rage.

He yanks his helmet off and marches out of Red. Matt and the other rebel fighters aren’t too far behind Keith and when he is near enough to pick up their words he falters when he hears Matt’s words: “Keith! What the hell I can’t believe you were actually going to do that!”

“Do what?”

Keith’s gaze snaps to his just as Matt spins to face him completely. “He was gonna run his ship into the shield so we could get through it to destroy that weapon.”

His whole body freezes upon hearing those words and suddenly Keith’s tone from earlier makes sense and he feels sick, his stomach recoils and he can’t fucking breath because that means -

Before he can open his mouth, Pidge gasps wet and broken behind him and he knows without turning around that her eyes are wide and glassy with tears. “Keith -” she begins but is cut off by Matt pulling her into a tight, crushing hug and telling her how terrified he was for her and their brush with death.

His gaze swings around until it lands on Shiro and surely,  _surely_ Shiro out of all them can say something to Keith that’ll make sure the other boy never ever does -

“We’ll discuss that later, for now, we need to escort Lotor to somewhere secure on the ship while we figure out our next move.”

Hunk makes a choked noise somewhere to his right and Lance is sure his mouth is hanging open in shock because did Shiro seriously just brush off what Keith was about to do as though it was an annoying fact that was getting in the way of the mission? He must be in the Twilight Zone or dead or both because no way in hell did he seriously just hear that come out of Shiro’s mouth.

Keith looks down at his feet and Lance feels the desire to shout swell in his chest as he catches a glimpse of the boy’s expression before dark bangs conceal it from his sight.

There’s so much he wants to say, feels the words climbing up his throat but before he can manage to open his mouth Lotor’s ship looms in his sight as the prick lands. This has to be one long nightmare, one terrible dream that he’ll wake up from any second now because this cannot be his reality. Lotor is the enemy, did none of them remember just months ago the man had led them into a trap, tried to get them to blow themselves up while wrapped up in combustible clouds?

People can change, he believes that wholeheartedly. Has to believe in it because when he looks at himself in the mirror he sees someone far different than the Lance he had been back on Earth.

But Lotor?

No, he doesn’t believe a person like the supposed fallen prince can ever change.

The others tense around him, Matt refuses to pull away from Pidge who looks like she wants to deal with anything but this, Hunk tries his best to appear calm and collected on the outside but he knows his best friend is utterly terrified on the inside, Keith balls his hands into fists but refuses to look up, and Allura hesitates for all of one second before she steps forward with Shiro to welcome Lotor aboard.

He knows he’s shaking and he imitates Keith, curling his fingers to his palms until a hiss of pain erupts in the back of his mind.

It doesn’t help.

Lotor saunters over to Allura and Shiro and even though he can’t hear what the prick is saying he just knows the man’s voice is smooth with fake honey. Shiro seems to believe whatever Lotor is saying and Lance watches in disbelief as his leader nods a few times.

“I don’t like this,” he finally snaps and the others startle as they swing their wide-eyed gazes to look at him, even Keith who wears a similar look of distrust in his eyes. “And I can’t believe Shiro’s allowing it.”

He doesn’t get a chance to say more because he’s finally able to hear when Lotor is saying as the three of them walk closer to the group. “I completely understand,” Lotor says in that same fake honey voice. “I am simply grateful you are giving me the opportunity to speak with you. So please, lead the way, I will cooperate fully.”

Lance knows if his hands weren’t currently gloved his fingers would have pierced the skin of palms, leaving a bloody mess in their wake. How can no one else understand that every word dripping from Lotor’s mouth is utter garbage?

“Alright team, Lotor has agreed to remain in one of the ship’s holding cells while we discuss his request for an alliance with us,” Shiro says. “Allura and I will escort him there and we’ll meet you all on the bridge in just a few ticks.”

Shiro doesn’t give them a chance to respond other than nod their heads before he and Allura walk away. He tries to catch Allura’s eyes, tries to convey to her how bad of an idea this is but she seems lost in thought, face pinched with conflict and once again he feels bitter anger cascade through his chest directed at their leader.

“Well,” Pidge begins once they’ve been left alone in the hangar. “I suppose we should head up.”

Hunk wrings his hands together as he looks at each of them. “I think that’d be a good idea, yeah.”

“Alright, I’ll stay with the rebels and assess the damage we have on our end. Let me know if I’m needed up there,” Matt says before hurrying off with only one glance thrown over his shoulder at Pidge.

The trip up to the bridge is completely silent and he knows that it’s only making Hunk worry more and Pidge loses herself in that brilliant mind of hers but he can’t bring himself to say anything, knowing whatever he did say would only make things worse.

Coran is uncharacteristically solemn when they make their way through the doors and immediately the older man’s gaze slides to Keith, looking utterly devastated for the briefest of moments, before meeting everyone else’s. “I am so glad you all are okay.”

Nightmare.  
Nightmare.  
This has to be a fucking _nightmare_.

As they walk towards the center of the room, Coran sweeps them up into his arms as best he can when they are close enough. Lance feels some of the tension leave his shoulders as he rests his head against the man’s shoulder. Hunk is pressed against his left side and Keith to his right and he didn’t realize until that moment how much he needed to touch the other boy, to be able to physically feel that Keith was alive and not -

No.

He can’t think about that right now.

Later.  
Later.  
_Later_.

When Coran pulls away, Hunk moves away to give him some breathing room and he expects Keith to do the same but the raven-haired boy only shuffles his feet and moves until he’s standing just behind Lance’s right shoulder, close enough Lance can feel Keith’s body heat waft off him.

He’s a little surprised to find he doesn’t mind.

Before the silence that follows Coran’s hug can consume them, the doors open again to reveal Shiro and Allura and he barely holds the snarling words on his tongue when Shiro stands next to Coran with Allura on his other side to face them.

“What did Lotor say when he first landed?” Pidge asks, cutting to the chase and he can’t really blame her. It’s been a rough day for all of them and he’s sure she just wants to escape all this, find Matt and curl up somewhere to get some actual sleep.

Allura, thankfully, is the one who answers, “He did not say much. Only that he wishes to plead his case to us about a possible alliance. He was very adamant about being able to speak to _all_ of us and understood we needed to discuss if we even want to hear what he has to say first.”

Shiro nods and crosses his arms. “We need to give him the benefit of the doubt,” he says. “He didn’t have to save us and the others like that but he did. Between his knowledge of the empire and his ship, he could be a real asset. I think it’d be wise to consider his case.”

 _Need_?

They didn’t need to do anything!

“So just because of that we should trust him now?” he snaps and the only one who doesn’t seem surprised by the heat in his words is the silent boy just behind his right shoulder. “This is Lotor we’re talking about! He didn’t bat an eye when his dad almost bit the dust and he needed to step up and lead the evil murderous empire, that we’re trying to defeat might I remind you, only a few months ago! He’s tried to _kill_ us too, and I know you weren’t around for it Shiro, but that doesn’t change the facts.”

There’s a beat of silence before Pidge breaks it, “Lance if it wasn’t for Lotor my brother would have died. All those rebels would have.” There’s a hesitation in her voice before she adds, “Keith would have…”  

No. No. _No_. He’s not thinking about that right now. Can’t bring himself to confront that particular reality because if he does he will absolutely lose it.

No. Right now he wanted to know what the hell was everyone drinking?

“No!” he shouts. “ _Keith_ saved your brother and the rebels, not Lotor.” Said boy stiffens but he’s too angry to look back and make sure Keith is okay. “Matt was outside the blast radius Pidge, you know that. And he would’ve been able to get away if that bomb went off with or without Lotor around to destroy the weapon.”

“Lance -”

“I honestly can’t believe we’re even entertaining this idea!” he continues, cutting Allura off feeling his earlier rage and frustration and fear clawing at his chest, ready to consume him. “He does one good deed and we’re suddenly supposed to forget everything else he did before it? And all for what? A _ship_ made out of the same stuff Voltron is? It’s not special, we have five lions, we have _Voltron_ , we don’t need -”

“Enough!”

He flinches and recoils when Shiro’s voice cuts him off. Despite his momentary shock, he glares right back at his leader because no matter what anyone in this room says he will never trust Lotor.

Shiro steps forward and Lance holds his ground, refuses to give in when he knows in his gut trusting Lotor will only lead to more pain and heartbreak for them in the long run. “Yes, we have Voltron Lance but we need help taking down the empire. You know that. That’s why we’ve started this whole coalition and alliance with the Blade of Marmora in the first place. Lotor knows details about Zarkon and the empire we don’t, couple that with his ship it doesn’t make sense not to hear him out. Don’t you want to get back to your family someday?”

He sees red.

A strong hand grips his shoulder and keeps him in place. It takes a moment for him to realize he was about to march right up to Shiro and get right in the man’s face for throwing his family at him like that. To throw the very fear he once confided in Shiro about shortly after they wound up in space like his desire to see his family again means he should ignore his gut and go along with whatever bad choices they want to make. The words die on his lips when he whips around to see Keith looking at him with a worried expression.

“Lance, take a deep breath.”

Keith’s words are like a bucket of water to the raging inferno of anger and hurt and he feels all of it sizzle away until it’s only smoldering. He’s left standing there staring at Keith with wide eyes feeling a kind of relief he’s never experienced before from simply hearing Keith’s _voice_. It crashes into him until all he can do is comply and slump his shoulders.

He almost lost -

“He’s right though. You guys shouldn’t trust Lotor. You don’t owe him anything just because he destroyed that weapon and stopped the bomb from going off. And you don’t know why he did it. It was probably for some selfish reason he’s keeping to himself.”

As Keith speaks he bites back a snort because since when is Keith Kogane of all people, calm and collected? And since when did _he_ lose his temper like that?

If Keith’s hand on his shoulder didn’t feel so real that thought alone would have been enough to convince him this all was definitely a nightmare. How many times has he failed to stop Keith from succumbing to his anger and frustration? How many times did he have to talk Keith down when he was piloting Black and tell him to do the same thing Keith just gently told him to do?

It is almost a relief to shake off some of the weight on his chest, to open his mouth and just say what he’s wanted to say since Shiro didn’t listen to him back on that planet. And knowing that when he starts spiraling too far Keith will try and pull him back like he’s done a dozen times over by now for the raven-haired boy shifts something inside him until it clicks into place.  

 _We really do make a good team_.

That thought settles him and he looks away from Keith and back to the others with his arms crossed and mouth pulled down into a frown.

“If you trust him,” Keith continues when he’s only met with stunned silence. “He’s going to screw you over.”

“It’ll only end badly for us,” he says. His voice is like steel and he looks everyone in the eyes so they understand, truly understand that if they decide to form an alliance with Lotor he wants no part of it.

Despite his rage, he’s mostly just grateful that someone understands and sees how huge of a mistake it will be if they go forward with this. The fact that Keith managed to know exactly what he was trying to say earlier before his rage took over only reaffirms his beliefs on the whole situation. And he prays that the rest of them will listen to him, actually and truly for once, about this. Sure he isn’t Shiro, the dude has a solid eight years on him and finished his Garrison training, and Allura is a Princess and was groomed to rule an entire planet one day and he may just a boy from Cuba but hasn’t he lived in this war long enough that his opinion should matter?

It quickly becomes apparent, however, that he is wrong when even Hunk’s gaze barely meets his before his best friend is looking at the floor completely silent.

“I see,” he says and he prays the betrayal and hurt don’t color his voice, that all they hear is a flat tone. “If all of you want to talk to Lotor I can’t stop you but I also don’t have to stand around and listen to him either.”

“We need to discuss everything with Lotor as a team,” Allura implores. “If you have any concerns about whatever he says I urge you to address them with Lotor directly.”

He wants to say his concerns are about the fact that Lotor even exists and nothing the man could say to him will erase them but he’s already lost this battle so he bites back the words. If Shiro was the one asking him to stay he knew he’d already be halfway out the door by now but because Allura’s the one asking he knows he can’t do that to her. Would never disrespect her like that, especially when she isn’t making it an order like she would have done before she became the blue paladin. She’s _asking_.

So. Even though he really, really doesn’t want to be in the same room with Lotor he will anyway because he trusts Allura and if she thinks listening to the son of the man who destroyed her entire world won’t hurt them well he’ll at least give her that.

She listened to him after all. Believed in the words he told her when they were trapped, minutes away from certain death. Keith’s grip (and he’s shocked to realize the other boy never let go) tightens and when Lance looks over his shoulder Keith simply nods.

And even though ages ago back on the Bulmera their silent communication sucked Lance knows without a doubt what Keith is saying right now with that nod and grip on his shoulder. That if Lance decides to stay, he will too and they’ll simply have to watch Lotor with sharp eyes since no one else will. That he’s trusting Lance’s instincts on this over everyone else’s.

“Alright, I’ll stay,” he grits out.

Everything that happens after Allura and Shiro go to get Lotor that is a bit of blur. The adrenaline from earlier has worn off and he’s exhausted physically, emotionally and mentally. He knows the others are too and they’re all finding ways to hide how close they are from collapsing.

Pidge walks over to her chair and types away at the screen, looking over lines of code that he could never understand in a million years. Hunk fiddles with some contraption he keeps in the storage compartments on his chair, keeping his hands busy and he wishes he could soothe away the tension and guilt that lines his best friend’s shoulders. Coran chats with the mice patiently and some of his usual light-hearted hand gestures return.

He’s sitting in his chair (the red one, he can’t bring himself to sit in his old one even if Allura will most likely remain standing during this discussion) and he tries to remain alert enough that he’ll easily be able to fight Lotor if it comes down to it.

And Keith?

Keith doesn’t seem to want to leave his side anytime soon. The other boy is leaning against his chair, arms crossed and characteristically silent as he broods about the team’s decision and at least that is familiar. “Hey,” he asks quietly so the others don’t look their direction. “Where are Kolivan and the other Blade guys?”

Keith blinks at him owlishly for a moment before he shakes his head slightly. “They’re probably in the hangar with the other rebel fighters. I’m sure he’ll want to talk to Allura if you guys really go through with -”

“Why do you keep doing that?”

Again, all Keith does is blink as if he’s surprised by Lance’s questions or believes the answers are already obvious. “Do what?”

“You keep saying ‘you guys’. Keith you know you’re still apart of this -”

“Paladins, I am humbled that you have agreed to speak with me.”

Lotor’s voice cuts him off and he refuses to turn just yet, looks Keith in the eyes and prays the other boy will understand what he had been trying to say without being able to actually say the words. When Keith’s gaze flicks away from his to Lotor he knows Keith didn’t get it. Or if he did, didn’t care about it. He’s not sure which would be worse.

As Lotor speaks Lance finds it increasingly hard to remain silent and appear calm and collected. The man spins a wild tale about how he’s always been misunderstood by his father, always viewed as less because of his half-breed blood. He’ll admit, Lotor has a way with words and if he had it in himself to forgive Lotor for all his past actions he understands how easy it would be to fall for his charm.

He and Keith remain in their seats while the others have formed a loose half-circle around Lotor and their absence does not go unnoticed by the evil maniac of a man if Lotor’s constant glances their way have anything to say about that.

“I must confess I am surprised to learn you have a halfling already among you.”

He feels Keith immediately bristle next to him, body tensing like it normally does when he’s ready to attack and he knows he has to act quickly if he’s going to stop from this whole farce of a negotiation turning ugly. So, with reflexes that he’s honed over the last several months, he shoots his hand out and wraps his fingers around Keith’s wrist.

“Don’t,” he hisses under his breath.

To his relief, he feels Keith relax marginally, just enough to let him know the other boy has no plans to charge up to Lotor and punch the man in the face anymore.

“And that matters why? Keith’s still Keith,” he drawls, looking Lotor right in the eyes.

Lotor clicks his tongue and the others look at the pair of them with a mix of concern and warnings clenched behind teeth. Allura’s eyes still held a hint of guilt before she masks it quickly. Pidge just looks between Lotor and Keith as if she’s trying to figure out some complicated line of code. Hunk just looks nervous like he’s expecting a fight to break out right before his very eyes. And Shiro? Shiro looks completely unaffected by this turn in the conversation.

“I am merely stunned that the lions would allow anyone with Galra blood to pilot them considering my people destroyed the very planet they were built upon and rage war against them.” Lotor’s tone is light but Lance can see in his eyes that he’s up to something and that something involves Keith.

“You must be very special.”

Alarm races through his veins and he narrows his eyes as he picks apart the layers of Lotor’s words. The use of ‘my people’ didn’t go unnoticed by him. Before he can point out Lotor’s deliberate choice of words (because c’mon the others _have_ to know that whatever Lotor says isn’t an accident) Shiro steers the conversation back on track.

He tightens his grip on Keith’s wrist when Allura, but mostly Shiro, start to discuss the foundations of a tentative alliance and what they would desire in return for their shaky trust in his intentions. Keith doesn’t seem to mind the almost bruising grip and curls his fingers until they’re digging into his palm.

“I need to let Kolivan know about this,” Keith whispers and all he can do is nod even though the thought of Keith going back to Kolivan makes his heart twist painfully. “He’s not going to be happy.”

Even though Kolivan is kind of terrifying because he’s like an impenetrable wall Lance wishes the man was in the room right now to tell the others just how much of a manipulative asshole Lotor is. After all, the Blade has been dealing with Zarkon’s son much longer than they have and if his team won’t listen to him maybe they’ll listen to the leader of a ten-thousand-year-old rebellion.

“I’ll come with.”

Keith shakes his head just enough that Lance is able to catch it out of the corner of his eye. “No, it shouldn’t take too long. Plus one of us should try and keep an eye on him since the others...” he trails off, leaving the words unspoken but Lance knew what he had been gearing to say.  

The silence between them grows heavy and he turns to look at Keith fully now. “Right, okay,” he clears his throat slightly which makes Keith furrow his brow in confusion and open his mouth -

“Guys?”

It’s Hunk’s voice, slightly nervous, that draws their attention away from each other and he watches as Lotor’s gaze drifts to the fingers he still has on Keith’s wrist and even though his first reaction is to yank his hand away he refuses to give in.

The grin the graces Lotor’s lips isn’t kind but it’s gone before anyone but he and Keith can see it.

“Yeah, buddy?”

Pidge looks a little annoyed and he’s getting the feeling that wasn’t the first time they had tried to grab he and Keith’s attention. Shiro looks disappointed but that isn’t a new expression for Lance to see grace the older man’s face when pointed his direction.

“Allura, Coran and I will remain here to work out the details. The rest of you are free to get some rest, we have a lot of work to do in the morning.”

As they all leave the bridge, Pidge and Keith quickly take off towards the hangar and he wants to follow, goes to do exactly that because there’s no reason for him not to but he feels a warm hand on his shoulder and he turns to look at Hunk. “You okay man?”

The urge to brush Hunk off and follow Keith anyway swirls up his chest but it’s quickly cut off by guilt. Yes, he’s not too happy that his best friend didn’t even back him up earlier but Hunk’s expression is open and earnest and he can’t help but let some of the anger go.

“Not really, Hunk. We almost died today. Keith almost died,” he finally mumbles.

Things were much more complicated than that and he just wishes he could find somewhere quiet in the castle to just fucking think for an hour without something new monumental thing happening. Hunk must see this written on his face because he pulls Lance into a crushing hug, one that Lance sinks into without any hesitation. “Why don’t we get out of our armor and I’ll make us something to eat?”

He nods and even though he’s not really hungry he knows he should eat otherwise he’ll regret it when he finally wakes up tomorrow. Especially if Shiro is serious about working them to the bone tomorrow after what could arguably be their worst brush with death yet.

Hunk pulls away and squeezes his shoulders before guiding them toward their rooms. They don’t say much on their way up and he knows that’s only making Hunk worry more but what else can he really say? He made his feelings about Lotor very clear and he’s sure Hunk’s feelings are similar to his own in the whole almost died department.

It doesn’t take him long to shower the day off his skin or change into the pajamas and robe he found in his room the first night in the castle. And he really should attempt to do his usual nighttime routine because his skin desperately needs some love and attention after the past day or so but he’s far too exhausted to go through the whole thing. So he just washes his face and applies some moisturizer to hopefully keep any breakouts at bay.

When he walks into the kitchen Hunk’s already at work so he just hops onto one of the counters and listens to Hunk hum as he works.

He’s not sure why he’s this affected by the total failure that was this mission, it’s not the first one that hasn’t gone according to plan nor is it the first time he’s come within inches of dying and never seeing his family or Earth ever again.

According to Pidge, they’ve been in space for roughly eleven months by this point and even though that’s not truly a long time he knows that’s enough time that he should be used to this life and the dangers that come with it. And he did go to the Garrison where he’s had some training in how to deal with all of this even though he didn’t actually finish so he feels like he’s done a pretty damn good job of not totally shutting down or losing it so far.

So why the heck is he struggling so much with what happened today?

Before he can become too frustrated with himself Hunk interrupts his train of thoughts by handing him a bowl of something that looks extremely alien but smells so good he can’t bring himself to care.

While they eat they chat about random things, topics that are safe and comfortable for both of them and halfway through Matt and Pidge waltz in, grab some food themselves and soon the four of them are lounging at the table. He listens as Pidge and Matt tell more stories about all the crazy stuff they got up to as kids which makes him miss his own siblings but he clamps down quickly on the homesickness unfurling in his chest because he literally can’t handle that emotion on top of everything else right now.

No, he’ll break later.

It’s while Hunk is in the middle of a story about how his moms accidentally ordered neon pink sneakers for him when he was nine that Keith hesitantly walks through the door.

Pidge is out of her seat in a flash, barrelling into Keith with a force that he didn’t think the small girl was capable of. Keith’s eyes widen a fraction but he catches her easily enough, stumbling back only a single step before finding his footing.

“Pidge?”  Keith’s voice is hesitant but he shifts his arms until Pidge can wrap her legs more securely around his waist. After the girl shudders with a sob, Keith wraps his arms around her as well.

“You are never allowed to scare me like that ever again Keith,” she finally says through tears. Or well he’s assuming Pidge is crying based on the way her shoulders are shaking. “I just found Matt and don’t want to lose anyone else, you idiot.”

He watches as Keith’s face tumble through a slew of emotions before settling on surprise. Hunk gets up then and he’s not surprised to see his best friend is already crying. Once Hunk reaches the two of them he sweeps them up into arms and nearly squeezes the life out of them. “Yeah, man, don’t do that again okay? I was already a mess when you left for the Blade so please don’t die on me.”

Someone wheezes and he rolls his eyes fondly. “Hunk, they need to breathe.”

Hunk looks at him sheepishly before releasing their two friends and despite Keith’s natural athletic abilities even he’s unable to land on his feet without jostling Pidge enough she slips off of him. He winces, expecting Pidge to fall on her ass but Keith steadies her with a hand on her arm before she can.

Pidge just shoots Hunk a playful glare once she and Keith are settled and aren’t in danger of toppling over. “One of these days you’re going to break one of our backs,” she says before making her way back to her seat next to Matt.

He snorts because frankly he thinks the same thing and is surprised it hasn’t happened yet. Keith’s gaze flickers to him and he wonders briefly if Keith is expecting a hug from him too. Before he can decide on whether or not he wants to do just that with everyone else around Hunk darts to the counter, grabs a bowl, and plops food into it before shoving it into Keith’s hands. “I promise it tastes better than it looks!”

“Oh uh, thanks, Hunk.”

Hunk beams. “No problem, buddy.”

For a little while, it feels like things are like they used to be with the four of them (plus Matt) sitting around the table eating while Allura and Shiro were off doing other things that couldn’t really be handled by anyone else.

But no matter how many times he tries to relax he catches a flash of purple on Keith’s suit or hears Matt’s ridiculous laugh and he can’t do it. Instead, tension creeps into his shoulders and when it becomes too much he stands abruptly. “I’m gonna try to sleep,” he says when everyone looks at him.

Before anyone can respond he turns on his heels and practically runs out of the kitchen. His feet carry him to his favorite observation room. It’s smaller than the one the others use, but he’s always liked that, always felt like he’s being wrapped up in the stars. Even though all of them are unfamiliar he can almost will himself to believe he’s back on Earth, lying on the roof of his home on clear nights.

Even though he wasn’t expecting anyone to be inside he feels relief anyway when the door opens and reveals an empty room. A few of the blankets he’s bought at some of the markets or space malls are still on the floor next to the largest wall of windows and he immediately beelines for them.

He’s not sure how long he sits there just staring at the stars and planets trying to keep his mind blank for just a little longer by coming up with his own constellations. But even that can only keep everything at bay for so long.

He’s never felt more useless in his whole life.

Sure he’s had plenty of moments where he felt like he wasn’t good enough, that he didn’t deserve to be where he was, especially lately but there has always been some kind of stubborn flicker of determination that kept the all-encompassing hopelessness at bay. After everything that’s happened today, he finds himself flailing, trying to find something, anything to keep him from falling even further into it.

His chest tightens and he isn’t sure if he’s about to sob until his throat is raw and -

The doors hiss open. Surprised, he jerks around to see Keith peering inside. When those familiar eyes land on him he watches the other boy’s face soften slightly. “There you are.”

Keith doesn’t say any more, just walks into the room and sits down next to him. Before he can ask why Keith was looking for him the other boy looks out at the stars and says, “I don’t think I’ll ever get over this view.”

He can’t seem to form any words of his own so he remains silent, watching Keith pull his knees up to his chest and wrap his arms around them.

“When I lived in that shack in the desert,” Keith continues softly and Lance’s brain seems to short circuit because he’s never seen Keith like this before and he wonders why suddenly Keith is comfortable enough drop his mask. “I used to think I had the best view of the stars, that nothing could beat it.”

He turns away and looks back out at the stars.

“I used to think the same thing,” he whispers and is surprised that his voice is steady considering he was seconds away from a breakdown not too long ago. “We live far enough away from the major cities that we usually get some really nice views of the sky. I used to climb out my window and lay on the roof and try to find all the constellations whenever I couldn’t sleep.”

A few seconds tick by before Keith speaks again. “How many times did you fall asleep out there?”

He laughs because somewhere along the way Keith managed to get to know him well enough to know that he would be the kind of person who didn’t care if he fell asleep on a roof looking at the stars. “Too many to count, my mamá always yelled at me when she’d find me out there in the morning. After a while, though she just told me to make sure I bring a blanket out there if I wasn’t going to stop.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Keith turn to look at him and he feels as though the other boy is trying to figure him out or see straight to his soul. Or hell, maybe even both. “That must have been nice,” Keith murmurs. “Is that why you have blankets in here?”

He nods and hears Keith laugh under his breath in response and he’s surprised by how _fond_ it sounds.

They fall into a comfortable silence after that and thankfully his thoughts don’t immediately race to his own failures that day. He’s far too exhausted to think about all what-ifs right now because he knows there are far too many moments where things could have been different if he had just done something different, if he had spoken up louder, if -  

Keith shifts slightly and his gaze drifts away from the planets and stars spinning just outside the wall of windows and over to catch a glimpse of the look on the other boy’s face. What he sees causes his chest to twist sharply. “Keith?” he whispers.

The only response he gets is a soft hum so he takes that as permission to continue. “Were you really going to run your ship into that shield?”

If they weren’t sitting so close, he might have missed Keith tensing as if he was preparing himself for a brutal fight. Something ugly twists in his chest because that should never be Keith’s first reaction when it comes to him, when it comes to _any_ of them on this ship. “Yes,” the other boy finally breaths out sounding so incredibly small that Lance is left stunned by it. “And I’d do it again if I had to.”

His breath hitches and he can’t seem to take a full breath because reality decides to crash into him right in that very moment. The events from the last day play out in his mind and he’s forced to watch it all, every decision he made, every reckless order Shiro called out to them, but what haunted him most wasn’t a memory but might as well be when he sees Keith’s terrifyingly determined expression as he piloted his ship towards certain death on a thread of hope.

Keith seems to have curled into himself further while he was ripped through the undertow of emotions and when he comes back to himself he catches sight of the purple lines on the chest of Keith’s suit and suddenly he can’t stand to look at it, hates the way it fits Keith, hates it, hates it, hates it -

“Take that off.”

Keith jerks and looks at him with wide, confused eyes. “W-what?”

“You heard me,” he says and he wishes he could color his voice with kinder tones but he just fucking can’t right now. “Take that stupid suit off Keith, I’m serious.”

Through the anger and frustration and fear, he manages to remember not to make any sudden movements despite the fact he wants to reach out and rip the damn thing off Keith himself. He watches the confusion give way to annoyance as Keith continues to stare at him as if he’s waiting for Lance to say he was joking.

“What the hell? I’m not -”

“You’re not going back so take the damn thing off!” he snaps because he can’t hear it, can’t listen to Keith go on about how he’s only back for the night before he’s gone again. If he hears any of that he knows he’ll break, can already feel his eyes burn with tears begging to be released.

He almost cries in relief though when he sees the familiar aggravation creep across Keith’s face and for a moment he lets himself think this was just like any other dumb fight they’ve ever had. “You don’t get to decide that! What the hell is your problem?” Keith growls.

“You almost killed yourself! That’s what!” he shouts. “Keith, you _matter_ to us and I - we don’t know what we would’ve done if you had -” his voice wobbles and he knows he’s two seconds away from completely losing it and breaking down but Keith needs to know, needs to hear this because clearly, he doesn’t know he is -

“You’re loved and needed here and the Blade has somehow gotten it into that pretty head of yours that you aren’t, that your life doesn’t matter, which is total _bullshit_ ,” he spits the last word out like venom. “So, like hell I’m gonna sit here and watch you go back to them after that stunt! You belong here with us, your _family_. Keith, please -”

His voice cracks on the last word and that’s when the tears refuse to be held back any longer. Keith is frozen in his spot, eyes wide and glassy with his own tears and fuck it he can’t keep his hands to himself any longer. He wraps his arms around Keith’s shoulders and yanks the other boy into a hug. For a split second, he was sure Keith would shove him away, still angry and upset, but instead, his breath is knocked out of him when Keith squeezes his waist as he clings back.

He shuffles them until his back is pressing against the thick glass and they remain there clinging to each other like it’ll be the last time they’ll ever be able to do it. Without any of his normal hesitation, he buries his face in Keith’s hair and lets his tears fall into that stupid mullet he doesn’t actually hate. “Please stay,” he whispers and he doesn’t care that he’s begging as long as it works.

Keith presses his face into the crook of his neck and Lance holds the other boy tighter when he feels tears against his skin, dripping down his collarbone and chest before finally being absorbed into the fabric of his robe. “You would’ve _died_ if I -” Keith manages to say, the words pressing against his heart.

“I swear to god Keith Kogane if you say we would’ve died if you hadn’t tried to sacrifice yourself I will ugly cry all over that stupid leather jacket of yours. Snot at all.”

The laugh that leaves Keith’s lips is bitter and it doesn’t do anything to soothe the churning hurricane of emotions raging inside his chest. And it strikes him then how stupidly close he came to never hearing any kind of laughter from Keith ever again. Not solely because the idiot thought the best course of action was to get himself killed in some big heroic bang but because of Shiro too. If they hadn’t remained on that planet Keith would have never been forced to make that kind of call, never would have been there alone with just a few rebel ships to try and break through the force field around that weapon.

“You shouldn’t have had to do that at all,” he murmurs though the effect of his words is a little lost when he hiccups halfway through because of his big dumb tears.

Keith seems reluctant to pull away but he does anyway, leaving fingers tangled in his robe. “What do you mean?”

He sighs and lets his head fall back against the glass. “I had a bad feeling about the planet when those pillars started coming out of the ground and told Pidge to plot us a course off but Shiro wanted to stay to investigate. So we did.”  

Keith blinks. “That - that doesn’t sound like Shiro.”

Bitterness curls in his chest as he moves his head to look properly at Keith and what he sees only makes it darken because the tears in Keith’s eyes breaks his heart. Reaching up, he brushes away the ones that had fallen onto Keith’s cheeks and leaves his hands there, cradling the other boy’s face. “You would’ve listened to me,” he says when confusion pinches at Keith’s brow.

“Of course I would have, your gut’s never wrong,” Keith says bluntly as though it’s something so painfully obvious that it should be common knowledge. And after today, Lance wishes it was. All he’s done since the planet started to trap them beneath a force field is wish that things had played out differently, wishes Shiro would have listened to him, wishes it had been Keith piloting Black  -

He’s been wishing for a lot of things since Keith left.

“See why you can’t go back now?” he whispers instead of what he really wanted to say. “We’ve been slowly falling apart since that battle with Zarkon and the only time I thought maybe, just maybe we’d be okay was when you were in Black and I was your right-hand man. The Blade can go on without you, but I - _we_ need you here. Don’t leave again, Keith. We never wanted you to go in the first place, but we supported you because, well, that’s what families do. Please just come _home_.”

“Home,” Keith echoes as though he can’t believe that he would ever have such a thing.

It simultaneously breaks his heart and strengthens his desire to make sure Keith Kogane never thinks his life is so easily discarded ever again and that he understands just how important he is to not only himself but the others as well. If he has to spend the rest of his life telling Keith exactly that he will do it gladly and without any hesitation.

He doesn’t know the full story, has only heard bits and pieces from Keith ever since they landed themselves in the middle of this war but he knows enough to understand that Keith’s life on Earth hadn’t been particularly kind. Between that and the fact Keith fights with everything, he has to try and save the very planet that treated him so poorly Lance is positive he’s never met someone who’s more deserving of happiness than this boy who he’s holding in his arms.

Keith shifts after the words seem to finally sink in and he worries for a heartbeat that the other boy is going to pull away but instead Keith turns his head slightly to lean into Lance’s hands as if his touch anchors him. “Okay,” Keith says, breath fanning across his palm. “Okay, I’ll stay.”

Relief sweeps through him so quickly he can’t stop the fresh tears from falling down his cheeks. Keith looks distressed at the sight of them and surprises them both when the other boy reaches up to brush them away. He stares, wide-eyed at the contact for a split second before he’s leaning into the touch until their foreheads rest against each other like he’s starved for it.

“We should sleep,” Keith says what feels like hours later when their tears finally run dry. “It’s been a long day for both of us.”

This time it’s his turn to laugh bitterly but he climbs to his feet when Keith does. They both probably look like disasters with their puffy, red-rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks but thankfully they don’t come across anyone on their way back to their rooms.

When they reach his room, they both hesitate and it feels like they’re on the precipice of something and whatever that is hangs on the tip of his tongue, just out of his reach as the exhaustion from the battle, from nearly dying, from finding out Keith nearly died as well fogs his mind and all he can manage to say is, “Stay?” like it’s the only word left in his vocabulary.

Keith nods.

They don’t say anything to each other when the door hisses closed behind them, Keith doesn’t breath a word when Lance reaches out with shaking hands to finally, finally take the stupid Blade suit off of him. He just stands there and lets Lance do it and when it finally falls off his shoulders and pools at his hips revealing a soft gray t-shirt underneath the hurricane in his chest beats violently against his ribs, leaving him breathless.

He’s brought back when Keith’s fingers wrap gently around his wrist and he looks up to see Keith’s face soften with the same something from earlier he can’t name. It calms him enough to step back and let Keith shimmy out of the rest of the suit until he stands in the middle of Lance’s room in just a t-shirt and briefs with the suit wrapped around his feet on the floor. And normally, he would have felt flustered, seeing Keith like this in his room of all places but instead, he just feels calm at seeing that stupid fucking suit peeled off the other boy’s skin.

He discards his robe somewhere to his left, not caring where it lands, and climbs into his bed until his back is pressed against the wall, leaving Keith enough room to slide in beside him.

Keith hesitates for only a second before following.

Their beds weren’t designed to comfortably let two people sleep in them but dammit he’s determined to make it work because the thought of Keith leaving, even to go next door to his own room was -

They shift and move until finally finding a position that seems comfortable for them both. Keith’s head is pillowed on his chest, one of his arms thrown across Lance’s middle as he presses himself flush to Lance’s side, their legs are tangled together and he has one hand buried in Keith’s hair with the other gripping Keith’s free hand tightly.

“I’m sorry,” Keith whispers after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

He shakes his head and grips Keith’s hand tighter. “Just promise me you’ll never do that again.”

The silence shifts and becomes tense and he has to close his eyes to keep the burning at bay. “I can’t promise that Lance,” Keith’s lips move against the bare skin of his collarbone just above the edge of his shirt, making him shiver. “If it’s ever between my life and yours or any of team’s, I won’t choose mine.”

And he wants to hate Keith for saying that, wants to be angry about it and push back until he gets Keith to fucking promise but he can’t bring himself to feel either of those things. “I know,” he breathes. “I kn-”

“Especially if it’s yours.”

His eyes snap open and he sees Keith hovering over him. And there’s that precipice again. He tries to untangle the _something_ curling between them so he can name the emotions shining in Keith’s eyes. Whatever they are must be mirrored in his own because Keith smiles, real and genuine and so beautiful it makes Lance want to cry all over again.

 _Oh._ He thinks when Keith lets go of his hand and reaches up to tuck some of his hair behind his ear. He leans into the touch feeling warm and whole in a way he hasn’t since leaving Cuba. _It’s love_.

“Go to sleep Lance, I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

He wants to resist, wants to talk about what he just realized but his eyes flutter shut when he feels Keith’s lips press against his forehead. Part of him is afraid all of this will be a dream, that he’ll wake up and find his bed empty and the suit on the floor gone but Keith’s hand resting against his side curls until he’s anchored against the raging hurricane in his mind.

And so he lets himself fall.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed. :) I love these beautiful boys so much ugh. Kudos and comments are always appreciated if you have the time. <3


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